Forced Family Fun

Merry Christmas! Happy Hanukah!  Happy Kwanza!  Best wishes to you and yours as you celebrate the holiday season.

We’re on a plane.  Not right this second, but we will be shortly.  A quick day trip to spend time with my family.  All of us, together under one roof.  Lots of fun; tons of food.  Yes, it’s a long day.  I think of it as a time-honored tradition, one that we all agree to even if it is just once a year.

My friend refers to holidays as Forced Family Fun. 

At first I thought this was a bit sad.  Doesn’t everyone want to travel great distances or host large groups, all in the name of family tradition?  How could you miss Auntie’s famous yellow Jell-O salad with potato chips, the one that no one eats but tradition says we’re required to have? How about the high-decibel shrieking of dozens of kids running through the house?  What about peace, love and harmony? Earplugs, anyone?

Who am I kidding?  As much as I love my family – and I really do; they are the best – sometimes it just seems like too much.  Stressed out from work, overwhelmed with the millions of things going on in our lives, with no time to relax and enjoy the season - for Hubby and me, family time is the last thing on our list.  Top of the list is sleep, followed closely by a couch potato contest to see who can remain on the couch the longest. We’d just like a day without obligations to enjoy the peace and quiet.

 Yet every holiday, families around the world spend time and money simply to be together. 

We load up the car, drive long distances, sleep on the floor or the couch or wherever, share a bathroom full of toddler toys, step all over each other in a house that’s too small even for the family that lives there – and for what? A turkey dinner?

No. We do it for family.  Tradition. A sense of belonging.  And most importantly, for us.

It’s not always easy to travel to these get-togethers, nor is it easy to be the host.  And when people start getting cranky I try to remember that there will be a day when the older relatives are gone and we’ll be left to fend for ourselves.  We’ll long for the day when we actually were required to be somewhere for the holiday, and we’ll actually miss the shrieking kids as we try to re-create Auntie’s Jell-O salad.

Maybe the holidays are Forced Family Fun.  You know what?  Bring it on.  I’m ready.

© Tami Cannizzaro 2011 All Rights Reserved

Time is a Funny Thing

Time is a funny thing.  Seems like it either moves too slowly or too fast; never at the right speed. 

When I was a kid, time seemed to move at a snail’s pace during the school year.  Especially around Christmas.  As soon as Thanksgiving was over, mom and dad would start decorating and shopping.  Sis and I started counting the weeks, days and minutes until Christmas.  It was both exciting and agonizing.  Once the brightly wrapped presents came out, we could hardly contain ourselves, pleading with mom to let us open just one present early.

After the holidays, time seemed to come to a screeching halt. All I could see were the endless months of school ahead.  It was hideous.  Despite that I was a good student and basically enjoyed school, it still seemed never-ending.

When the final bell rang on classes I’d run home, thinking about the long, glorious summer months that lay ahead.  Sleeping late, swimming, bike riding, skating and watching cartoons with no responsibilities. It was awesome!  Yet with the blink of an eye, it would be time for school again.

The older I got, the faster time moved.  At college, school became a year-round task, measured by semesters and short breaks.  Summers were fun but definitely not care-free since I attended summer school each year.  A normal class load on steroids is not, by definition, fun.  Gone were the illusions that Christmas was light years away. 

When the lay-off hit, the first thing I thought of – aside from looking for work – is that I would finally get some time.  Time to do the things I’d been putting off, clean the closets, hit the gym, connect with old friends, finish at least a dozen projects that were in various stages of completion and of course, relax.  Others told me to be careful, that time moved slowly without work and that I’d get bored.  Something must be wrong with me because I’ve never been bored. During the first few months I was the busiest non-working person ever. Hubby and I joked that it’s hard to believe we ever had time to work with all the other stuff there was to do.  Time just flew by.

As I took on consulting gigs and assorted part-time work, once again time became a blessing and a curse.  Productivity went up the busier I became, yet personal satisfaction decreased as I was stretched so thin.  Gym work-outs became 15 minutes – if that – and personal goals were put on the back-burner.

The constant struggle to focus on career, look for a new job, and/or build a consulting business, make money in the meantime, and find time for family – that’s where I’m at now. 

To top it off, my one day each week that’s supposed to be dedicated to working on personal goals has become a fire-drill for the umpteen other things that I’m trying to juggle.  It’s hard to eliminate any of the items on my plate as they are all meant to help my career.  And it’s frustrating.

Maybe I should develop a time machine or other contraption that would slow things down, allow me to savor the moments.

Despite the time crunch, there are plenty of positives.  The good news is that I’m vertical.  And I’ve got options.  Too many options, but at least I’m engaged in the game of life.  I’m happy to have things to keep me busy, as I hear from others in the workforce that they are worried about their jobs as work slows down in this economy. I need to remember this when I get frustrated.

Yes, time is a funny thing.

© Tami Cannizzaro 2011 All Rights Reserved