When Hubby and I began dating I asked him to join me at a
concert; my treat. Isn’t that what liberated women do anymore, ask their guy
out? It was a stadium concert, none
other than the Rolling Stones, and to me it was the opportunity of a lifetime.
These guys have been rocking and partying hard for decades and you never know
when they might decide to call it quits.
After all, I imagine you can only have so many women throw themselves at
you before it gets old.
My expectation for
the show was to dress in my finest all-black rock star attire and cut loose,
expecting Hubby to do the same. Bad
assumption on my part. Here I am,
looking every bit the rock goddess. Here comes Hubby, wearing a golf shirt,
khakis and white leather gym shoes that were so bright new you needed
sunglasses to avoid the glare. I didn’t say a word. At the stadium, Hubby went to purchase
beverages while I ran into the ladies room.
Stepping out of the restroom, I cringed as I saw Hubby’s new look: he
had two sets of binoculars strapped across his chest, one on the left and one
on the right, holding drinks and hot dogs, looking more like a tourist at Disney
than a concertgoer. Words jumped out
before I could stop them as I hissed, “Take off those binoculars and be
COOL! This is the Rolling Stones!” Ouch. I still wince at the words.
Apparently I underestimated Hubby’s inner persona. On our next date (yes, he did ask me out
again despite my outburst) I opened the door to find Hubby leaning against the
wall wearing a skin-tight t-shirt, jeans, a leather jacket and sunglasses, with
an unlit cigarette hanging out of his mouth.
“Am I cool enough for you now?” he asked. Point: Hubby. And I knew I had met my match.
Most of the time I try to repress my inner rock star, but
sometimes she just has to come out – like at concerts. This is fine, since my inner rock star is
only a small part of who I am. My day-to-day
personality is much more important and needs to be front and center. My inner rock star is fine with this
arrangement.
Suppressing my inner rock star is easy. Suppressing my personality – who I am – is
not. Especially at work. I’m confident, creative, intelligent, passionate,
logical, funny, straightforward and assertive. I’m a thinker who’s not afraid
to make decisions, although I enjoy working as a team for the good of the group
and the project. I value those who work
for me and will support them as they learn and grow. Ninety-nine percent of the time, my
personality is an asset in the workplace.
Every once in a while, I find that others want me to
suppress my personality and be something I’m not. They want me to be a shrinking Violet, or a passive
Patty, or simply accept decisions that are detrimental to the team or company
without at least pointing out alternate solutions. I’ve been criticized for wanting to - in a
nice way, of course – ask a question of a colleague. I’m not exactly sure why asking a question
that may help me better understand a situation to develop a solution could be
detrimental, but some think it is.
I’ve suppressed my personality before and can do it easily
for short periods. But over the
long-haul this is not a good situation. I become frustrated, which doesn’t help
anyone, especially me. It’s important that
I work in an environment that allows me to be “me”. My inner rock star may retreat during
business hours as long as my personality is allowed to shine. It’s essential to
who I am.
As I look at new opportunities, I’m going to allow my
personality to take center stage. If
the company doesn’t like the “real” me, then maybe it’s not the right gig. And if she’s lucky, I may let my inner rock
star make a brief appearance during the interview too. As long as she promises not to outshine me.
Rock on!
© Tami Cannizzaro 2012 All Rights Reserved
