Lasting Impressions: Lessons from a Men’s Underwear Buyer

I know a lot about men’s underwear.  It’s true.  As a former retail buyer of men’s furnishings, underwear was one of my categories.  Despite the seemingly odd nature of this job, I embraced it just like any other position I’ve had and wanted to be the best men’s underwear buyer around.

While I took this position very seriously and of course showed only professionalism on the job, my assistant and I used to find ourselves ROTF with laughter after yet another vendor launched into the benefits of a super absorbent front panel (you know what I’m talking about).  We only did this after the vendor left the room, of course.  We had no intention of embarrassing anyone; it was just such a funny thing to discuss in the workplace.  

And the unsolicited samples from vendors hoping to get their brand in our store!  Each came with a brochure, featuring super-hot models wearing the scanty undergarments.  Can you say “Playgirl”?  Others could probably hear us down the hall, shrieking with laughter every time we opened a new box of samples.

I learned more than I ever thought I needed to know about men’s underwear.  Briefs, boxers, boxer-briefs, silk boxers, low-rise, regular-rise, thread counts, seams – whew! Little did I know that some underwear doesn’t have a useable fly opening, although I’m still not sure why underwear would have a fake fly.  It hardly seems like a worthwhile design element if it’s not useable.  Of course that’s my female POV.  Suffice it to say, there was and still is tons of information about men’s underwear and I’m still not sure that most men really care that much about the technical specifications of their underwear. After all, men basically enter a store on a mission when shopping - they just want to pick up a 3-pack and head out the door.

But that job was years ago, just a memory now.  In fact it was one of my first jobs out of grad school and it’s been reduced to barely a line on my resume since my career has expanded so much.  I’ve got more important things to talk about than super-absorbent panels.  In fact, many of my current friends have no idea that at one time I was an expert in the field of men’s underwear.  It’s pretty irrelevant at this point.

Or is it? 

The topic of self-branding came up recently, and part of the discussion was the importance of leaving a lasting impression as you network and interview.  After all, there are a million MBA’s running around now and we women have flooded the work force, so it’s important to set yourself apart in order for people to remember you.  A former colleague was part of this discussion and brought up my skills as a men’s underwear buyer, pointing out that this factoid was not included on my resume.  He suggested I incorporate that into my talking points during an interview. 

It’s actually a brilliant idea and I wish I’d thought of it sooner.  It’s the kind of fun fact that may help someone remember me over other candidates or people at a networking event.  Even if my lengthy Italian name doesn’t make an impression, surely a healthy discussion of briefs vs. boxers will.  I hope it works. At least it will give people something to think about.    

© Tami Cannizzaro 2012 All Rights Reserved

I Love Rock 'n Roll

We all have an inner “someone”, a persona that others rarely see but that’s just beneath the surface waiting to get out.  Mine is a rock star.  From the outside I may look all business, but on the inside I’m all rock ‘n roll. I love music and going to concerts. Especially classic rock and ‘80’s hair bands like Bon Jovi.

When Hubby and I began dating I asked him to join me at a concert; my treat. Isn’t that what liberated women do anymore, ask their guy out?  It was a stadium concert, none other than the Rolling Stones, and to me it was the opportunity of a lifetime. These guys have been rocking and partying hard for decades and you never know when they might decide to call it quits.  After all, I imagine you can only have so many women throw themselves at you before it gets old.

 My expectation for the show was to dress in my finest all-black rock star attire and cut loose, expecting Hubby to do the same.  Bad assumption on my part.   Here I am, looking every bit the rock goddess. Here comes Hubby, wearing a golf shirt, khakis and white leather gym shoes that were so bright new you needed sunglasses to avoid the glare.  I didn’t say a word.  At the stadium, Hubby went to purchase beverages while I ran into the ladies room.  Stepping out of the restroom, I cringed as I saw Hubby’s new look: he had two sets of binoculars strapped across his chest, one on the left and one on the right, holding drinks and hot dogs, looking more like a tourist at Disney than a concertgoer.  Words jumped out before I could stop them as I hissed, “Take off those binoculars and be COOL!  This is the Rolling Stones!” Ouch. I still wince at the words.

Apparently I underestimated Hubby’s inner persona.  On our next date (yes, he did ask me out again despite my outburst) I opened the door to find Hubby leaning against the wall wearing a skin-tight t-shirt, jeans, a leather jacket and sunglasses, with an unlit cigarette hanging out of his mouth.  “Am I cool enough for you now?” he asked.  Point: Hubby. And I knew I had met my match.

Most of the time I try to repress my inner rock star, but sometimes she just has to come out – like at concerts.  This is fine, since my inner rock star is only a small part of who I am.  My day-to-day personality is much more important and needs to be front and center.  My inner rock star is fine with this arrangement.

Suppressing my inner rock star is easy.  Suppressing my personality – who I am – is not.  Especially at work.  I’m confident, creative, intelligent, passionate, logical, funny, straightforward and assertive. I’m a thinker who’s not afraid to make decisions, although I enjoy working as a team for the good of the group and the project.  I value those who work for me and will support them as they learn and grow.  Ninety-nine percent of the time, my personality is an asset in the workplace.

Every once in a while, I find that others want me to suppress my personality and be something I’m not.  They want me to be a shrinking Violet, or a passive Patty, or simply accept decisions that are detrimental to the team or company without at least pointing out alternate solutions.  I’ve been criticized for wanting to - in a nice way, of course – ask a question of a colleague.  I’m not exactly sure why asking a question that may help me better understand a situation to develop a solution could be detrimental, but some think it is.

I’ve suppressed my personality before and can do it easily for short periods.  But over the long-haul this is not a good situation. I become frustrated, which doesn’t help anyone, especially me.  It’s important that I work in an environment that allows me to be “me”.  My inner rock star may retreat during business hours as long as my personality is allowed to shine. It’s essential to who I am.

As I look at new opportunities, I’m going to allow my personality to take center stage.   If the company doesn’t like the “real” me, then maybe it’s not the right gig.  And if she’s lucky, I may let my inner rock star make a brief appearance during the interview too.  As long as she promises not to outshine me. Rock on!

© Tami Cannizzaro 2012 All Rights Reserved

Do I Hear Flushing?

It’s easier to get a job if you have job.  At least that’s what I’ve always been told.  To be honest, it has never really seemed that easy to get a job if I’m currently employed.  Mainly because I’m too busy working to put much time and energy into looking for another gig.  Not to mention the difficulty trying to have confidential calls with recruiters or potential employers, especially while working in cubicle-land.  With conference rooms booked and stairwells that echo, that leaves the bathroom or possibly the car.  Flushing is not a sound anyone wants to hear over the phone, much less a potential employer. And sitting in a stuffy car is hardly conducive to intelligent phone conversation. Yep, looking for a new job while I’m working has always added even more stress to my life.

The simple solution would be to prepare financially, then to leave the current job in order to focus my energy on finding a new one.  On paper, this looks great. Yet somehow I’ve never been able to do that. I’ve come to realize that I have a hard time letting go of things.  No, I’m not a hoarder; I can purge my closet of clothes and I don’t purchase toilet paper by the truckload.  It’s just that I have an innate sense of wanting to finish whatever I start.  And the word “quit” is not in my vocabulary.  Nope; mom and dad did not raise a quitter. 

Most of the time, this is actually a good trait.  I had a boss once who told me I was like a bulldog.  It was a compliment, although it took some explanation. He said he knew that he could give me any project and, just like a bulldog holding onto his favorite squeaky toy for dear life, I would never let the project defeat me.  He could count on me to be successful.

Unfortunately, my bulldog instinct can sometimes get in the way.  Like when I realize that a job is no longer right for me.  It’s quite a predicament.

Sometimes it’s not easy for me to recognize that I’ve outgrown my job.  The feelings of uneasiness may be confused with the occasional frustration we all experience from time to time at our jobs.  It takes time to truly identify the signs.  For me, it’s the lingering day-in, day-out frustration that is so frequent it feels like a huge boulder is on my chest and I’m about to buckle from the sheer weight.  It’s not about being incapable of doing my job; it’s about no longer getting satisfaction from it. It’s the time when the bad feelings begin to outweigh the good. A no-win situation, at least for me.

I remember being in this position some years ago.  It felt like I was trapped, unable to escape.  Hubby will tell you I’m a commitment-phobe on many levels, which is partially true. I have a hard time committing to a pair of new shoes, much less a new job. And don’t get me started on my commitment fears when it came time to get married; Hubby still wonders if I’m in this for the long-haul.

In the case of this particular job, I felt trapped, like a wild animal who just wanted to run as fast as I could away from whatever was trying to hold me down.  But the bulldog in me would not let go, especially without another job to go to.

Which leads to my question: Is it ever OK to walk away from a job without another one waiting in the wings?  Seems like it should be, yet for me this is almost impossible and unthinkable.  I get worried about things that are rational and even some things that are not: Will we have enough money? How will I explain this during an interview? What if the new job is a mistake? Will I ever work again?  But my biggest concern is my reputation – even though logic tells me that 99% of my friends will not care. I simply don’t want to be known as a quitter.   

All this to say that my bulldog tendencies + my aversion to commitment + illogical thinking under stress = more stress when looking for a new job.  It sure makes for tough interviewing.

As I continue to be open to new opportunities, I’m hoping the commitment-phobe in me stays locked away.  I don’t want to miss anything good simply because I’m afraid to make a mistake.  In the meantime, if you hear a muffled conversation in the bathroom, it’s just me trying to interview. I’d appreciate it if you didn’t flush.

© Tami Cannizzaro 2012 All Rights Reserved

Victory Lane

Memorial Day is one of my favorite holiday weekends.  First, it’s three days.  Who doesn’t love that? And of course the symbolic remembrance of our armed forces makes it special.  The official start of summer is a plus too, although I’m not looking forward to the possibility of another record-breaking heat wave. 

My favorite part of this particular weekend is the Indy 500. I became fascinated with racing after attending my first Indy 500 years ago.  It is a spectacle like no other event I’ve been to – including the Kentucky Derby, the Tournament of Roses and the NCAA national championship football game.  With attendance of around 400,000 the track becomes its own city.  The tradition, pomp and circumstance are worthy of royalty.  The military tributes bring tears.  So does the singing of certain songs by Jim Nabors and Florence Henderson, although I’m usually not crying because they’re good.

Hubby and I watched from home this year.  Still fun, but not the same as being there in person. For years the Indy 500 was part of my job, and we spent Memorial Day weekends at the race.  This year as I watched the race, the memories came flooding back: strategy and planning would start the year before the race, followed by campaign development, tactics, on-site and finally execution.  I had great co-workers and we all had so much fun that I would pinch myself to make sure that this was really my job and not a dream.  We used to laugh so much it was hard to get work done. And the stories I could tell!  Names would definitely have to be changed.  Yep, what happens at Indy stays at Indy.

The biggest lesson I learned from the Indy 500 is to never give up.  These dedicated athletes – the drivers, the crews and team owners – fight every week to make it to the winners circle.  With big bucks on the line, jobs can be lost when things don’t go the right way.  The drivers are strapped into their cars for several hours or more, depending on the number of incidents.  They are always thinking about how to improve their position on the course, and are in constant communication with their crew as to how the car is handling.  Even when they are in the final laps, the drivers and teams never quit trying to win.  After all, anything can happen in a race. Leads change in hundredths of a second. 

I was watching two specific drivers this year, both of whom were fighting for the win. Having worked with both of them in the past made it even more special to watch.  One is a long-time veteran and knows that he has to win at Indy soon if he’s going to at all.  The other is equally deserving, fighting for his family name.  No pressure there, huh? 

As with many races, it came down to the wire.  Both of my favorite drivers pushing and working and strategizing until the last second.  Unfortunately neither won.  But after the race, they were already talking about next time.  And both showed great poise in defeat.

I need to remember this when looking for new opportunities.  Never say never; never give up.  Don’t quit trying even when it seems impossible, even when the job is a long-shot at best.  You never know. At some point, the job will be right for me and I’ll walk into victory lane.

© Tami Cannizzaro 2012 All Rights Reserved

Dream On

Still thinking about my niece’s college graduation.  I’m bursting with pride that she achieved her goal. She busted her butt, taking heavy course loads and extremely difficult classes.  Classes that I would have run from before ever purchasing the book.  And she was beaming as she received her diploma.  At least I think she was beaming; it was hard to tell given that we were seated on the far end of the arena. Either she was happy, or she was embarrassed that her cheering section jumped up and screamed so loudly that it echoed. I think we may have scared those sitting calmly around us. My apologies.

I remember feeling like my niece. One of my best memories is graduating from college and feeling like I had just finished the hardest, longest, most kick-butt marathon ever. Receiving my masters’ degree was even more thrilling – a newly minted degree and my dream job waiting for me once I stepped outside.  Seemed like the world was full of opportunities.

I’m a bit concerned about the new robes I saw at the graduation, especially in today’s economy.  I’m wondering how many of them have a job waiting for them.  As a board member for a collegiate graduate program, I know that many choose to continue their education simply due to the scarcity of jobs these days.  It’s hard to bask in the recognition that comes with a robe when all you really want is to put the knowledge to use and start your career.  Continuing to grad school also creates an issue for those who must have a graduate degree to pursue their dreams, such as my niece. Now she’s in competition once again simply to get in to a graduate program.

This also raises concerns for those of us already in the work force, especially for anyone in lay-off land. Now we’ve got to compete for jobs with this new batch of robes.  They’re smart¸ ambitious and full of energy. They have yet to be jaded from years of working long hours for dwindling benefits without much recognition.  Oh, I know; it’s just a matter of time before they experience the feeling of burnout.  But still, it’s competition right now for the thousands of unemployed.  I could argue that experience can outweigh academic “smarts”, except that in the real world youth plus new degree equals high level job, even if it’s low paying.

I’ve spoken with both sides of the equation about this situation.  Friends and former colleagues who are considered veterans in their fields are having trouble finding work.  For those of us who have pieced together work after being laid-off, many are underemployed (translation: low title and low pay) or are in a job that doesn’t suit us yet we can’t afford to leave.  Desperate to find something better, the competition is fierce with these new robes vying for the same jobs.

The students are concerned too.  Many are forced to work multiple unpaid internships before finding a company that will hire them – and actually pay them.  Wow. I’m not talking about students who skated by with barely passing grades either.  Even my niece, who was a T.A. as well as a leader in numerous college organizations, participated in an academic mission trip, has hands-on work experience and whose grades are what I would consider stellar, is concerned simply about getting into a graduate program to continue toward her dream career.

One thing I do know is that we all – new robes and career veterans – have the opportunity to make our career dreams come true despite the economy and anything else that might get in our way.  That may mean accepting a job with a lower title and salary than we’re used to, or for new grads it may mean bunking with the parents while working an unpaid internship. It’s all about getting experience, no matter how insignificant or tough it may seem at the time. 

As my favorite new philosopher Steven Tyler of Aerosmith fame said recently, “You have to have a dream in order to realize the dream”.  Well said, Steven.  Rock on, graduates.

© Tami Cannizzaro 2012 All Rights Reserved

Robe Envy

There had to be 1,500 robes walking solemnly into the ceremony. The arena was hushed as parents, relatives and friends watched the procession.  Occasionally a camera flash pierced the silence.  One by one, the robes took their place and the ceremony began.  This would be one of five such ceremonies over two days.  Yikes; that’s a lot of robes.

My niece was in one of those robes. It was her college commencement.  Hard to believe she’s old enough to graduate from college, and with a degree that is way more difficult than mine.  I could tell from the dangling cords decorating her robe that she was a member of an honor society.  Something I never achieved during my collegiate years.

With six nieces and nephews, Hubby and I will be attending many commencement ceremonies over the next 15 years. That’s a lot of robes; many heartfelt commencement speeches by dignitaries; a lot of listening to “pomp and circumstance”. Wonder if we could get Aerosmith to play at one of these things? Sure would be different.

I loved watching the doctorate candidates, followed by masters and then bachelors, each in a robe.  It was then that I discovered I have robe-envy.  Sure, I have the masters and bachelors robes.  But I want the fancy robe, the one with the velvet trim and colored hood that comes with obtaining a PHD.  Since I have no aspirations to become a professor, the degree would have little significance for my career and wouldn’t lead to more money.  I just want to say I achieved the feat.  It would be fun to have my friends call me “doctor”.  And the robe itself is beyond coolness.

Honestly, I just want the recognition that comes with working hard to achieve a goal.  And to hear someone cheering for me.  That’s not too much to ask, is it?  Hubby says I should go for the robe and the PHD that goes with it, if I want to.  Still contemplating the idea of going back to school.  It’s been a while since I wrote an academic paper.  The idea of research makes me a bit nauseous.  Of course I guess it might be easier nowadays, with the Internet. No more nights at the library trying to figure out the Dewy Decimal System simply to get a book that turned out to be less than good.  I’m still mad at that Dewy guy.  And all that reading!  If it’s not a romance novel or People magazine, I’m not too interested any more. 

Still, the lure of the robe is tempting. The feeling of accomplishment that comes with achieving a goal. And the recognition from others that I did it.  I made it. My hard work paid off.  Recognition like this is rarely seen once you enter the work force.  If you’ve ever been laid off, you know that getting recognition for your work – no matter how small – is really valued. And missed when you’re without a job.

So yes, I’m considering the possibility – however remote – of attempting to get the fancy robe. 

In the meantime, I’ll have to settle for the recognition that comes with working hard and that my years of experience are valuable.  I may bling-out my bathrobe until I can get the fancy robe.  Go ahead and be jealous. Robe-envy is hard to shake.

© Tami Cannizzaro 2012 All Rights Reserved

Truth in Interviewing

I’m not good at lying.  OK, I can do the innocuous “of course that dress looks great on you!” But when it comes to serious lying, that’s definitely not my forte. I wear my heart on my sleeve – and sometimes my emotions live there too.  Like an open book, you can pretty much tell what I’m feeling at any given time.

Most of the time, this is a good thing.  People know that they can trust my word.  Sometimes it’s not what they want to hear. But they know I’m telling the truth. 

This “skill” of mine is not always effective.  For example, I would be a terrible contestant on “Survivor” – and my inability to effectively lie is only one issue.  First, I would be voted off right away simply because I would want to spend the first few days building an adequate shelter instead of hanging out on the beach like it was a vacation.  If there was a lack of organization, I would step in and try to lead the tribe, another no-no if you want to stay in the game. Not to mention the whole issue of living outside. Yuck.  But the ability to weave and maintain an intricate web of lies with a straight face would lead to my demise. I must not be smart enough to keep all the stories straight.

When you think about it, isn’t interviewing for a job similar to lying?  I can hear you disagreeing with me.  “Of course not!”, “I would never lie to get a job”, “It’s more like acting, but that’s not lying, per se”.  Okay, call it what you want, but face it – there are times during an interview when we absolutely have to stretch the truth.  We have to lie.

This is especially true when you’re in lay-off land, searching for your next opportunity.  At least it seems that way since we don’t want to turn any chance down. Each interview could be a ticket to employment.  So how is someone like me, little miss “hard to keep a straight face”, supposed to get through the interview process?  I can be knocked on my side with the very first question, “Tell me why you want to work here?” Even just writing that question causes me to go all “deer-in-the-headlights”.

While I don’t have a magic potion to make interviewing easy, I do have a little trick I learned while working in PR.  In preparing for possible media calls and interviews, we prepared a “Q&A Document” – sort of a script.  It’s actually quite brilliant.  The goal was to write down all the possible questions that a reporter might ask the company. Even off-the-wall questions were OK.  Then we had to prepare written answers to each question.  At the top of the document we listed our talking points, those two or three key messages we wanted to tell about our company in relation to the story.

I’ve adapted this same technique to prepare for job interviews.  It’s a great way to collect my thoughts before the interview and develop solid, truthful answers.  Once I developed the first set of Q&A, I’ve only had to tweak it for different interviews.  I especially like the reminder of my key messages, listed at the top.

The best reason to use this tactic is that it helps me determine exactly how far I’m willing to stretch the truth and it allows me to become comfortable with my answers.  If I’m not comfortable with these answers at home, I’m certainly not going to do well during an interview. 

For example, am I always willing to relocate for a job?  Probably not.  Yet my answer needs to leave room for the possibility without making promises that I can’t keep, i.e. “I would consider relocating”. After all, I don’t want to be eliminated before the interview starts.  Once the discussions begin I may determine that the opportunity is indeed worth a move.  

It’s a fine line to walk between full-disclosure and flat-out lying, yet one that we have to walk as we pursue new opportunities.  We just have to be comfortable with our answers. 

Just for fun, I thought I’d share what I would love to say during some interviews, but the fact that I want to be hired prohibits using these answers.

Fun Interview Answers

Q. Why do you want to work here?

A. Honestly, I have no idea except that my friend told me you were hiring and I heard you have a good vacation plan.  By the way, how soon can I take my first vacation?  Did I mention that I plan to work here a few months, then take off to “find myself” as I back-pack through Europe?

Q. Tell me about yourself.

A. Aside from being well-educated, I’m cute and have an amazing sense of humor.  I’m sort of doing this career-thing until I decide what I really want to do with my life. Oh, and I enjoy critiquing people’s fashion choices.  By the way, that’s a nice tie – is it a clip-on?

Q. Where do you see yourself in five years?

A. I was kind of hoping we wouldn’t have to discuss this right away since it’s a bit awkward, but I want your job.  Preferably sooner than five years; maybe within twelve months. Actually, what are your plans?  Any idea when you might move on to your next job?

Q. Our corporate offices are out of state. Are you willing to relocate?

A. Oohh – didn’t see that coming.  Depends; what state are we talking about?  I’m willing to move to a ski-resort town, or possibly Hawaii.  But that also depends on how much additional money you’ll pay me.

Q. Let’s talk salary – can you tell me where you were compensation-wise at your last job?

A. I can tell you, but I’m not going to.  Duh!  Haven’t you heard the phrase, “he who talks money first loses”?  Besides, from the looks of this old furniture in your office, I’m pretty sure you can’t afford me.

Q. Thanks for coming in; we’ll get back to you in about a week. Do you have any questions for me?

A. What kind of gym membership do you offer?  How’s the food in the cafeteria? I smelled something coming in and it was less than pleasant.  And thanks for humoring me by saying you’ll call me back. Even though I know better.

Wimbledon Warriors

Sometimes you just have to get outside and see the sun.  Sunday was one of those days.  It was perfect. Sunny and warm with a crystal clear sky lacking the haze that comes when it’s too hot here in Texas – which is almost every day from June through August. These are rare days; days that should not be wasted inside in front of a computer.  According to a friend, there are only “14 perfect days” in a given year where we live and I’m sure this was one of them. Rats, only thirteen good days left this year.

I convinced Hubby that we both could use a break from all the things we “should” be doing: laundry, writing, consulting work, searching job boards.  Let’s spend an hour outside, I said.  We could have fun and get some exercise at the same time.   Tennis, anyone?

First step: search for tennis rackets. Found them exactly where one would expect sports equipment to live, in the craft room.  Did I mention we hadn’t played in a while?

Tennis balls became another issue.  We did find a can of tennis balls, however they had zero bounce.  Lucky for us we have a dog. After rifling through Kylie’s toy baskets and searching the backyard, we had three balls that at least resembled tennis balls.  Not sure that Pet Smart really makes a good tennis ball, but hey, it looked OK.  The pink rubber squeaky nubby ball was included as a back-up.

With rackets, an assortment of tennis-like balls and a jug of water, we were off to the tennis courts at the school.  We were thrilled to see that the courts were vacant and surprised others in the neighborhood were not taking advantage of one of the “fourteen perfect days”.

Hubby and I are pretty equally matched when it comes to sports, except he’s better at softball and I excel at shooting pool.  With both of us at fear-inducing heights of 5’2” and 5’5”, we are not powerhouses at hoops.  So tennis is a good game for us.

Once on the court we decided the goal was simply to keep the ball going for as long as possible, playing for household bragging rights.  Hubby went first, dropping the ball, reaching back and swinging the racket, making contact.  Too bad the ball didn’t understand the goal was to go over the net.  Ha! I could tell bragging rights would be mine. 

Telling him to stand back, I served and the volley was on!  I’m not really sure what happened next, except to say that my eyes saw the ball coming at me to the right, my mind said “move” – but my feet and legs were like lead weights stuck in place.  The ball whizzed past me as Hubby yelled, “Why didn’t you move?” Point: Hubby.

Game on, pal! My competitive edge kicked in. No way was Hubby going to win. It was my idea to go outside, my idea to play tennis.  We started again, and this time I made sure my legs went the same direction as my eyes.   Running towards the ball, I stretched to make the shot.  “Ouch!” I cried out, as my hamstring pulled tight and I began what can only be described as a failed attempt at a one-footed moon walk.   “What is it?” yelled Hubby. “Are you hurt?” 

No, I always do this dance when I’m in the middle of a game.  Duh.

Determined to enjoy this perfect day, I soldiered on.  We both did.  We hit the ball. We tried to run.  At one point we actually had fourteen consecutive “hits” before the ball took a nose-dive into the net.  After thirty minutes we took a water break.  Sweating, heart racing, unable to lift the large jug of water to even get a drink, I looked at Hubby and said “what happened to us?”  Of course we immediately blamed our rusty skills on the lay-offs, new work and the fact that we were not used to such nice weather. 

Back on the court, we continued to try and regain the skills we knew we once had.  We switched sides, each convinced that the other had an advantage solely based on the side of the court.  That’s when I discovered his side of the court held a treasure trove of sunbaked Cheerios, which I’m sure he had been hiding from me.  No wonder he had energy; he was on a Cheerio high. Never mind that they had probably been there for months. 

We never bested our fourteen consecutive hits, working at it for another half an hour before deciding that our poor performance was the direct result of using the dog’s toys as tennis balls.  We decided it was unfair of us, really, to take the dog’s toys and headed home.  

It was great to get out of the house and away from the grind of work and job-search.  Our muscles are still sore and we may never move with ease again, but at least we enjoyed one of the fourteen perfect days.  

© Tami Cannizzaro 2012 All Rights Reserved

No Regrets

I’ve often heard it said that in life you never regret what you did; you regret those things you didn’t do.  Hmm.  Are you sure? Just one look at my old photo albums and I can see plenty of things I regret.

Photos from grad-school parties show a serious lack of fashion sense, which of course I regret.  I’ll cut myself some slack here since I was poor.  I will say that my sequined high-top tennis shoes (my creation) added some flair to my otherwise bland wardrobe of jeans and tops.  And my hair! I may have actually been close to a mullet.  Let’s just hope I needed a haircut and hadn’t made it to the salon.

Looking back at my career, there was the time I turned down an opportunity to interview with a small start-up. Happy with my job despite the low pay, I didn’t even try to talk to the start-up even though one of my best friends worked there. In my mind, it couldn’t possibly be as interesting or fulfilling as my current job.  I’ll never know how an interview may have turned out or if I would have liked working there.  One thing I do know: I regret not interviewing and potentially getting in on the ground floor, including stock options that later would prove to be so lucrative that I could be writing this from my winter home in Tahiti.

Over the years I’ve seen the error of my thinking. Of not trying something new.  Now I’m much more willing to at least investigate opportunities – both professional and personal – rather than simply declaring my life “fine as-is”.

Hubby and I have applied this line of thinking to our travel, taking advantage of opportunities that we never before dreamed of, not wanting to look back with regret at not going, doing, seeing.  Hard to regret riding a camel by the great pyramids at Giza.   I do regret my screaming while the giant camel stood up with me in the saddle; that was embarrassing.  Who knew that a scream would echo around the pyramids?

When the lay-off hit, my mantra became “no regrets”.   This stroke of bad luck was really good luck in disguise, giving me the opportunity to do whatever I wanted.  If I wanted to try something, I was going to try it, as long as it was legal and didn’t break the bank.  Any fear I had was pushed aside by the bigger concern that I might rush into a new job too fast and find myself once again stuck in the rat race without at least considering a new venture.

So I pressed on, past any naysayers and concerns from well-meaning friends; past my own self-doubt.  I wrote my thoughts and dreams and strategies on a large grease board with “NO REGRETS” emblazoned at the top.  And guess what?  I’ve actually been able to check a few things off the list.

Living a “regret-less” life is not easy and I’m not going to pretend that I do it well.  Many times Hubby has to give me a pep-talk before I worry myself out of something without giving it a try.  I find that it takes more courage and determination to try something new vs. staying with something familiar.  Worries flood in as I venture out of my comfort zone to try new things. “What if” questions are always top of mind.

I’m not sure where some of my “regret-less” ventures are going to take me.  But one thing’s for sure: I’ll look back someday with a smile, knowing at least I tried.

© Tami Cannizzaro 2012 All Rights Reserved

Rear-View Strategy

I’m an expert when it comes to seeing the benefit of life’s happenings.  Bold statement, I know.  But I really am an expert at this and can definitely answer the question “why” as it relates to life events.   As long as they’ve already happened, that is.

In the midst of things, I often wonder “why” things are the way they are.  Especially during the not-so-good times.  I think, “I’m a nice person, what good could possibly come of this?”

Or more simply stated, “What the #@!*”?

Some years ago, Hubby announced that one of the many items on his bucket list was a trip to the Indianapolis 500.  Ever the supportive wife, I told him he’d better find someone else to go with him as I certainly was not going to waste time on such a dumb sport, cars perpetually driving to the left for hours.  And by no stretch of the imagination would I ever agree to spend a weekend in the middle of a race track in an RV, as I’d seen people do at the races on TV. 

The very next week I earned a promotion to manage my company’s national sponsorships and promotions.  I’m sure the look on my face said it all when my new boss gave me a folder and said, “We’re just negotiating a motorsports agreement with Indianapolis; see what you can do with it”.  Aughh!  I clearly remember the grin on Hubby’s face when he heard the news and realized that he would get to accompany me to the Indy 500 to see cars drive in a perpetual left-turn.

Determined to do my best at this new opportunity, I dug in and learned everything I could about the sport and why it could benefit our company.  Turns out it’s not so dumb after all.

Ever watch an auto race?  Athletes the size of jockeys driving multi-million dollar computers on wheels, singularly focused on that perpetual left-turn for hours and miles on end.  They’d better be focused. At speeds of over 200 mph, even they can see the emergency crews on the edge of the track. 

And talk about strategy – they’ve got a plan for everything.  When to change tires, when to pass another car, when to re-fuel.  Races are won by hundredths of a second so every decision must be well thought out.  

It wasn’t too long into my new job that I officially became a “gear-head”, knowing more about the sport and the drivers than most men.  Luckily for me I never had to stay in an RV.

Fast-forward several years. A recruiter called, looking for someone with very specific career experience:  retail, strategy, marketing, and - believe it or not – motor sports.  Someone with Indy experience.  Wow.  What an odd combination, yet it was me all the way.   I got the job - and I had a light-bulb moment as I remembered my “what the #@!*” thought when I was handed the Indy folder.

I would love to say that all of this happened because of strategic career moves on my part.  I would love to show you a planning document that I developed early in my career, outlining the skills I should acquire on my road to success.  But I can’t.  Nope, as strategic as I am in my work, even I wasn’t prepared for every twist and turn. 

Yet every experience, good and not-so-good, seems to enhance my future.  Even the lay-offs in our house hold have been beneficial. Hubby and I discovered hidden skills that have led to new opportunities. We realized that although we loved our jobs, we can shift gears, adapt and move on to something new.

Out of the motor sports chapter of my life came more than a job opportunity.  I also gained a great group of friends and colleagues that I’m still in regular contact with, including drivers and others in the race industry.  Hubby bonded with several of the other husbands that attended the races while we women worked (isn’t that how it always goes?).  Once at home, we became a dinner group called “The Trailing Spouses”, named lovingly after our Hubbies who trailed after us at such events.

 Yep, I’m an expert at rear-view strategy.  Wish I could identify it a bit sooner, although now I try to simply accept what’s happening and prepare myself for future benefits.  

In the meantime, I’ll keep driving to the left.

© Tami Cannizzaro 2012 All Rights Reserved